What about Socialization?

What about Socialization?

As a homeschooling parent my mom heard this question a lot. While homeschooling is becoming more accepted, she still hears the age old drone whenever she tells people that she homeschooled me and my sister, and is still homeschooling my brother. Most people who gasp and utter this question are well meaning souls who probably assume that being homeschooled means we never left home…despite the fact that the conversation is probably taking place somewhere 500 miles from the house. What they’re referring to is the friendships, sporting experiences, and parties they attended in school. They’re worried that me and my siblings never get to do anything fun like that, and despite having met kids our age from all over the eastern U.S. at least, we won’t be able to have any friends. Right. The problem is it’s not normal. It doesn’t fit into the mold.

           I read a news story the other day about a 6-year-old boy who is facing battery charges after kicking his principle. When the boy threw a tantrum and kicked the principle, instead of calling the child’s parents, he called the cops. Ridiculous as it may sound, the child is facing battery charges. A spokesperson for the school said that they wanted to get the child in the system, in order to make therapy options available that he would not ordinarily have at home. My mom brought to my attention the thought, “And they call it Socialization.”
            What exactly is socialization, anyways? To most people, it’s spending time with your peers. However, I began thinking about the etymology, and decided to look it up.

Socialization is a noun, defined as: “1.a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position. 2. The act or process of making socialistic: the socialization of industry.” http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/socialization

Wow! That definition actually fits more closely to the episode with the little boy being entered into “the system” than it does with just casually interacting with your friends, and learning how to interact with people.

Let’s talk for a minute on the definition of socialization, and how it relates to kids. When most people ask my mom, “What about socialization?” they probably aren’t trying to say, “How will they ever learn to take their ‘position in society’ and uphold the values taught in the school system?” However, when you substitute the definition of the word socialization into that sentence that is exactly what they are asking.
          How about the first part of definition number 1, “A continuing process whereby an individual develops a personal identity”? Do you send your kid to school so they can learn who to be? If school is for socialization, then yes indeed, your child learns who to be at school.
              Do you want your child to “learn the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate for his or her social position” in school? Isn’t it sort of the parent’s job to teach their kids how to behave in public? Do norms and values change relative to social position? I suppose they do if you are “socialized”.

Definition number 2 sums up my point: “The act or process of making socialistic”

             Obviously, people don’t intend to ask my mom, “But what about making your kids socialists?” Nor do they intend to ask her, “But what about brainwashing?” but the truth remains, that’s what socialization is.

               I think that maybe before we roll our eyes and say, “Look, my kid has plenty of friends and opportunities and yadda yadda yadda…”, we should recall the definition of socialization and realize what they are unknowingly asking. Then we might smile and say, “Who needs it?”